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Trying to Heel…

Hi There…

I’m not quite sure what to write about yet… but I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here.

This has been the hardest week of my entire life. I am still in Texas right now with my mother and brother. We are slowly working on picking up the pieces.

I know writing is a part of heeling. I plan on resuming my regular blog post within the next week or so… so don’t leave me 🙂 I’ll be back… I promise 🙂

My brother and I spoke at my father’s funeral. This was incredibly difficult… but we had to do it. He was such a wonderful man… and we wanted everyone to know it.

Here’s what we said:

Our father believed that friendships are shaped and nurtured more like family. To our dad, his friends and his family ran along the same threads and fibers. Our father was known for his loyalty and his passion.

Fifteen years ago, our father’s health took a turn for the worst. But in his typical fashion… he fought and he fought… and he fought.

(Luis) My dad was a client, a patient, a co-worker, a friend, an uncle, a nephew, a cousin, a father-in-law, a grandfather, a brother, a father, a husband, and a son.

My dad and I had a close relationship, growing up he supported me in everything I did. He was there at every practice, every baseball game, every graduation, and every fork in the road. Throughout my life, my dad always seemed to have all the right answers. I learned a lot from him. He taught me the importance of family and friendship, respect and dedication, loyalty, professionalism, and most of all compassion.

My dad was a great individual who had a big heart

After I graduated college, my professional career took me away from my family. My dad and I would talk frequently over the phone. About 75% of our conversion was about the Dallas Cowboys, Texas Rangers, or the Stock Market. Although we talked mostly about these 3 topics, the remainder of the conversation would be my dad asking questions about my life, my work, and most of all, how I was doing. I relied on my dad a lot for work advice because as I have realized throughout my life, my dad always had the right answers. I credit my dad with where I am today, having a successful career and preparing me to raise a family with my beautiful wife. After every conversation, whether in person or on the phone, we would say goodbye with one phrase, “take care and take it easy”.

Tonight, I truly believe, with all my heart that my dad is here, in spirit, looking at everyone individually.

So dad, tomorrow, I will be saying goodbye, with one phrase, “I Love You”. Dad, I love you, and I promise, Estela and I will take good care of mom and I will make you proud.


I have many memories of my dad… but one that always comes back was Christmas morning. I remember waking up to the ringing of bells. My brother and I sprinted to the Christmas tree looking for Santa. My dad said we had just missed him and that he even ate breakfast tacos with him. There was a half eaten taco on the table, some cookies with bites taken out of them, and an empty cup of coffee. I watched as my dad took so much joy in our childish imagination, the laughing and grinning of his children on a Christmas morning. The joy in he and my mother’s eyes as they gazed upon the family that they had created is one of the most important memories I will ever have.

After my father’s health started to go down hill, I realized his strength and perseverance and what propelled him were his friends and the desire to see his family flourish. With my mother at his side, his companion – his friend – his life, he pushed his body from one family event family even to the next.

First to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, not only a memory I will cherish forever but the first in many incredible feats that the doctors said he would never do, but in typical fashion as you can all picture him saying to the Doctors humbly with a little laugh and sly grin “well I guess I’ll just try and we’ll see” …….of course he did it. He even danced with me and drank with all my husbands bother’s……typical – he could talk to anyone and always had a great time in a crowd.

Then he and my mother traveled all the way to Minnesota to see my brother get married. The doctor’s warned him about his health, but again he just said, “Well I guess we’ll see”. Of course he got there, with a little help from family, but he had a great time and defied the odds again.

And finally last year he got to see me become a mother and start a family of my own. He got to see his grand daughter laugh and grin on a Christmas morning just like I did as a child. He was a man completed in family, in heart and soul.

He accomplished so much in life, but most importantly he got to see the accomplishments of the family he raised.

In closing, I have always thought that the success of a man cannot be measured in his wealth or possessions, but his legacy; the relationships he built, the friendships he fostered, and most of all the family he fathered and loved.

As I look upon all his friends and family I know that my father passed away as a man wealthy in heart and spirit. He shall be carried to his lord by his friends and honored by his family for eternity

We shall love and honor you always dad.

God bless you.

19 Responses

  1. Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman said on June 11, 2010 at 10:06 am

    Oh, Estela, my heart breaks for you and your family. I’m so sorry. You’re in my prayers. (*Big hug*)

  2. Christie {Honoring Health} said on June 11, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Sending peace to you and your family. *hug*

  3. Marisa (Loser for Life) said on June 11, 2010 at 10:29 am

    Oh Estela, what beautiful words you both spoke. Sorry for the pain you are going through 🙁 HUGS to you.

  4. Jessica @ How Sweet said on June 11, 2010 at 10:43 am

    Beautiful. Thinking of you! <3

  5. mary @ what's cookin' with mary said on June 11, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Thank you for sharing this with us Estella. I know this is a very tough time for you and that post was so beautifully written. It hits so close to ome for me… My husband lost his Fater last year after a 2.5 year battle with cancer. I know that I haven’t ‘known’ you that long, but my heart goes out to you and your family!

    And don’t worry… us readers, we’ll be here when you’re ready 🙂


  6. Emily (A Nutritionist Eats) said on June 11, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Thinking of you Estela and sending you hugs. xoxo

  7. Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries said on June 11, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    This is absolutely beautiful. Honoring those we love with words is extremely important. I’m proud of you. And, I’ll definitely be here when you get back. Whenever you’re ready. No rush.

  8. Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) said on June 12, 2010 at 10:25 am

    Oh Estela, my heart is broken for you. I am thinking about you and your family. Thank you for sharing. I know it is hard, but we all heal and learn from each other. Take your time and know that we will all still be here when you are ready!

  9. Mo@MommyRD said on June 13, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Beautiful words Estela. Take your time in healing, we’ll be here. Taking care of yourself and family is the most important thing right now.

  10. The Candid RD said on June 13, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    So touching. Good for you for speaking for your father, I hope I have the strength to do the same for my dad one day. I’m glad you are healing, and that your father is still with you in spirit. We look forward to your return!

  11. Carolyn said on June 13, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    What a wonderful and touching tribute to your Dad. We hope you all are finding a way to remember more of the wonderful memories and are finding solace in being together. Thinking of you all!!

  12. Joanna Sutter (Fitness & Spice) said on June 14, 2010 at 7:56 am

    God is certainly blessing your Dad…and you. Wishing you lots of love through this very difficult time. -XO

  13. Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly said on June 14, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Thanks for sharinf Estela! My heart goes out to you and I am praying for you and your family daily!

  14. Ameena said on June 14, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    This is such a touching post…I am sure your father would have been honored by everything you wrote here.

    I can’t imagine how difficult things are for you right now but I am thinking of you Estela and wishing you the best.

  15. Nicole, RD said on June 15, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Estela, my thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your family. You and your brother are both extremely eloquent, and not even knowing your father, able to bring me to tears. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering you and your family is enduring. Take your time, hugs.

  16. Maryann @ Raise Healthy Eaters said on June 16, 2010 at 1:53 am

    Estela, so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad many years ago and understand how hard it is. I’ll say a prayer for you and your family.

  17. Yum Yucky said on June 17, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Estela, I am sad for you and your family today, but I pray your strength. It is wonderful know that you have such fond memories of your father to remember and share. God bless you and your family.


  18. Judy L said on June 17, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Estela, what a wonderful way with words you have. And to be able to do that through your grief is amazing. Your father sounded like quite an inspiring person. Having lost both my parents, I know the pain–it does get better, but a little hole is still left in your heart. Keep your friends and family close to you, and think about all the fine memories you have of him. My heart goes out to you!

  19. Gelareh @ Nutritious Foodie said on June 17, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Estela, I am so so sorry to hear about your dad! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.